~venice84

Do you know that feeling when people come in and out of your life but they leave a mark in your heart and you're never the same? Thats how I kind of feel about my ex. I love her deeply but she's now happy with someone else and I won't take that happiness from her, no matter how sad it makes me. I'll always have that mark imprinted in my heart, I'll always have the memories to cherish and someday I'll be able to really move on even though it seems hard now, one day I will fall in love again.

Its not that I want her back; even though I may tell myself that sometimes, and its not even that I blame her. I completely understand why she wanted out. It obviously didn't work, and so now we aren't together.

I thought I have moved on but now she popped back into my life. Taking this in stride, I pretended that I felt nothing anymore. I don't know if she bought it, being that we could basically read each other, but what startled me the most, and what killed me was that even though she acted so calmly, and as if nothing had happened, I realized that I was still in love with her. Maybe just the idea of her, but still in love just the same.

Its been almost a year since the break up. I thought I've moved on but who am I kidding?

My emotions were welling up like a volcano the very moment I saw you again. That Friday night seemed like 10 years ago, I miss you now more than ever. I wanna see you again soon, I wanna be able to hold your hand and squeeze 'em. I couldn't stop secretly smelling your hair the whole time we were in queue for that ferris wheel like ride. Your hair is longer now, I like running my fingers through it. I didn't mind that it took you forever to choose which restaurant you wanna have dinner at. You still eat more than I do. Seafood pasta is still your favorite. You'd still tirelessly listen to my stories and say the best comments ever. I don't know, its like nothing has changed...

*Sigh*
I guess, nobody can just fall out of love with somebody.
If it was possible, this situation would be so easy to deal with.